There is a balance between hovering and being unavailable.
This is what your teen needs.
Why do you helicopter?
Parents have their own feelings that may get in the way of how they respond to their child.
Hearing other moms’ talk can cause anxiety that you are not doing enough.
The social pressures of peers and college expectations or life success.
Fear of childs’ low self esteem-”they can’t do it”.
A scary world mentality- the world seems like an unsafe place.
Preventing failures- we don’t want our kids to fall.
Prevent our kids from feeling like we did or making mistakes that we made. Overcompensating.
Guilt- we may work too much, divorce situation, etc.
Consequences of helicoptering
Not having a resilient child- they don’t have experience in handling problems themselves.
Teen/child will have a high level of worry, anxiety and depression.
Low self esteem because the underlying message we send is “You can’t do it”.
Low level of confidence due to lack of personal successes.
Fear of the future because they also see the world as an unsafe place.
Undeveloped coping and problem solving skills.
Entitlement attitude that others must do for them as well.
What to do...The Balance
Submarine Parenting- being there when needed or it’s asked for.
Teach and guide and then step out of the way.
Offer problem solving skills but not solving the problem.
Our teenagers will wobble, they will trip, they will fall, and they will, finally, fly if we let them!